Death jokes

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

Every woman will die in five seconds.

Mother: Dies.

Sister: Dies.

Girlfriend: Lives.

You: 🤬

What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?

They both died at 95.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.

Dead.

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.

If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.

Knock knock.

Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.

Grim Reaper who?

The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.

It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.

Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!

Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Somebody threw an EMP at him.

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.

What were Princess Diana's last words?

Have you been Dri...?

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.