Death jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.