Death jokes
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!
The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?
A dead baby can't feed a family.
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.