Death jokes

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.

Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??

He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper

R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的

The first guy: What's 他妈的?

The Chinese: Fucking.

The first guy chooses death.

Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...

The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.

Second guy: I choose 他妈的.

The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!

What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?

Cancer!

The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!

People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.

The last thing that went through Abe Lincoln's head was a bullet.

Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.

Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?

Mum?

Mum?

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

Why doesn't Batman have super vision?

His parents died.

Haha, dead.

Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?

A: Her dead fetus.

I finally got my wife to shut up.

Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.