Death jokes
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
Sayo-nara.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?