Death jokes
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
Why drink water and not bleach?
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife? The first is easier to bury.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
After I am dead during my funeral service, I want someone to play my favorite song by Boy George and Culture Club, "Church of the Poison Mind."
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.