Death jokes
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Dr. House
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
U die from robot bite.
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
The George Floyd situation was breathtaking.
Orphan
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.