Death jokes
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.