Death jokes
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
There's something special about cemeteries.
People are dying to get inside.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-