Death jokes
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
U die from robot bite.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.