How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Death Jokes
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
