Death jokes
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
What's yellow all over and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
Alahu-Akbar.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.