Death jokes
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he got bummed too hard in the shower.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
VAPING IS ALSO BAD
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
My dog died.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
My friend committed suicide yesterday... At least he went out with a bang.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"