Death jokes
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
Q: Mummy, how do most stars die?
A: From an overdose.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?
One is loved by all.
Parents...
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.