Death jokes
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
Parents...
Memes
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
What kills you?
Suicide.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"