Death jokes
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Memes
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
What kills you?
Suicide.
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Kobe got irl canceled.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.