Death jokes
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
What kills you?
Suicide.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Fastest story readers are 9/11 victims.
They went through 87 stories in 7 seconds.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...