Death jokes
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
HARRY POTTER MEMES
What goes pop pop sizzle sizzle?
Two dead babies in an acid bath.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.