Death

Death jokes

Funeral

    • Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?

    Well, they weren’t always orphans.

    Death memes

    Breath

    • My grandpa has a world record for holding his breath. He's been holding it for 6 years.

  • 8

    • Nun

    • Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."

  • 3

    • Gun

    • Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

    Little Johnny paints them black.

    Little Johnny went to a gun store.

    Little Johnny made a big mess.

    The cemetery people were getting paid.

  • 1

    • Killer

    • A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...

  • 0

    • Dad

    • I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

    He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

    Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"