Death jokes
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
Memes
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?
Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.