Death Jokes

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.

Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

A man is lying in a hospital bed with an oxygen tube in his nose. A text overlay above his head reads, "Dying lit🔥".

I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"

My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support. :)

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

Are you a toaster?

Because I wanna take a bath with you.

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?

Suicide.

What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?

The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.

You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.