Death jokes

My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."

Why do people always talk about nine eleven???

My dad died that day.

He was a good pilot.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To get to the other side (suicide).

Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flatmate.

God, I miss Stephen Hawking.

He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.

Fucking camper!

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

I remember my uncle's last words:

"I don't think we're going shooting today."

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.