Death jokes

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To get to the other side (suicide).

Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flatmate.

I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.

Fucking camper!

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

I remember my uncle's last words:

"I don't think we're going shooting today."

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.

God, I miss Stephen Hawking.

He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.