Death

Death jokes

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.

What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?

The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

How do you know when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"