Death jokes
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Why are orphans sad?
Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
He is helping world hunger by feeding cancer.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.