*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
