Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.