Death jokes

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.

I saw a helicopter fly. Next minute, I knew Kobe was on the news.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.

Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

My dog died today. 😥

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Why can't Kobe go shopping?

He's dead.

Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.

What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?

Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?