Death jokes
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
After a suicide joke say, "Don't leave me hanging, or I'll cut it out."
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
What's yellow and can't swim? A school bus full of orphans.
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
I will always remember my grandma's last words: "What are you doing with that pillow?"
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."