Death jokes
When the cannibal was late for dinner, he got the cold shoulder.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
An old Indian was buried on the side of a hill. What did he say?
Nothing, he was dead.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hit by a RAM.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!