Death jokes
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "What, no soap?" Then he dies and she marries the barber.
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday...
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
He's dead.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
Me nan.