What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
Rust in peace.
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
