Death jokes
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."