Death

Death jokes

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

Why did Sally fall dead?

Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.

If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.

What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.