Death jokes
Look, it's the dead center of town!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering, but you walk toward his gun; "I will finish what you started."
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
My grandpa died to ligma :(
LIGMA BALLS!
You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.
Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
When the school shooter kills five people, and the autistic kid yells, "Heroes never die!"