Death jokes

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.

I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.

Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.

Sleep, but make it forever.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.

When I die, I want my body to be cremated.

And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.

I’m only curious how they closed his casket.

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

Where do suicide bombers go?... Everywhere.

Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.

They never get old.

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.

There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.

People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.

Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

Guy: "Yup"

Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

My friend committed suicide yesterday... At least he went out with a bang.