Day jokes

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.

Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

What's a rapper's favorite day of the week?

FREESTYLE FRIDAY!

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?

Because the donkey gets tired.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

Calendars got dates.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.