Day jokes

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

I got sad today.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

It's a Italy day outside the fields.

What's a rapper's favorite day of the week?

FREESTYLE FRIDAY!

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!

What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?

A lazy bones!

One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."

What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?

F5

Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

This is a bad day for me.

Why is the pizza place busy? Because it’s pizza day! 😂

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.