Day jokes

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

Your hairline so back that back in the day of your hairline, Burger King was called "Burger Prince."

Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!

Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?

Because the donkey gets tired.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

Calendars got dates.

Bruh, who likes Dhar Mann nowadays? That shit is ass AF. And it's just legit shit like only nerds that are fatherless would watch that shit.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

Your forehead is so big it takes 3-4 business days.

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.