Day Jokes

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

so true

The meme shows a dialogue between a mother and her child on Mother's day. The mother asks, "So where are you taking me out to eat?" The child replies, "There's food at the house." The lower part of the meme shows two close-up images of the face of a smiling man.

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"

"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

What month of the year has 28 days?

Answer: All of them.

Quote Of The Day:

It's okay to struggle.

It's not okay to give up.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."

Love y'all so much!

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.