Dating jokes

Prince

  • Prince/Lord Tallie: Leave Gwen alone for once! By the way, you are an idiot!

    Gwen: The Prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD, AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!

    Prince/Lord Tallie: Oh, don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late-night talk? My Wi-Fi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘

    Gwen: Oh, thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!

    Tanner: Fuck off.

    Kenya Bailey: Excuse me?

    Gwen: Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast, and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?

    Zre: Who the hell is Tanner?

    Ha: Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!

    Kenya Bailey: Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes.

    Ha: Yes, you're right.

    Zre: Ok.

    Zre: Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this is your toddler's toy! Even though I thought I was a prince.

    Gwen: I thought Prince was dead, so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.

    Dynamite

  • A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."

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  • Relationship

  • Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

    Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

    Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

    Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

    Karien: That is so boring!

    Daiana: Well just work with me please?

    Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

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  • Body

  • (Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

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  • Depression

  • Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

  • 4
  • Girl

  • Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

    So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

    And then she died.

    Rape victim

  • What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

    Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

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