Dating jokes

Girl

Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.

Kid

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

Memes

Dating memes

Butcher

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

Boy

A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.

Relationship

The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

Girlfriend

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

Rape

Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!

Butcher

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"

SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"

HE: "I'm a butcher."

SHE: "We're through!"

Contest

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

Candle

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

Relationship

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

Girl

If a girl says no twice 🤔.

Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!