Dating jokes

Rape is so outdated, but when you pay them money, it is a popular date!

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"

SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"

HE: "I'm a butcher."

SHE: "We're through!"

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

Welcome to Blind Date. With me, Stevie Wonder!

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

If a girl says no twice 🤔.

Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!

Who wants to be my boyfriend, please?

Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.

TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.

NOT A DATING WEBSITE

Chat date for Kenya and Jaden!

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

I don't want to date an alien.

Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.

9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.

What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

My chance of finding love.

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3