Dating jokes

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Where did the cows go to a date?

To the moo-vies!

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉

Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?

Who thinks that Prince should just avoid Qwen and just continue the relationship?

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

What happened when the fire used Tinder?

He luckily got a lot of matches.

Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.

Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.

Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.

What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?

You can drop her off anywhere.

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊