Dark Humor
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."