Dark Humor
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.