Dark Humor
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.
Do you know the phrase, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.