Dark Humor
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
Why are Americans good at Rubik's Cubes?
They're so good at separating colors.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
NASA just found evidence of water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
A. Because he got hit by a truck.
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)