Dark Humor

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.

These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.

What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?

I like alottopuss.

Who is the best at musical chairs?

The kid in the wheelchair.

How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

NASA just found evidence of water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.

I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.

I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.

How did the gay girl die? Homicide.