Dad

Dad Jokes

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Son: Dad am I adopted? Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center do you really think I would pick u?

The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife we were only talking about getting a divorce."

A kid asks his father, " How long is our trip dad?" The kids father says , " Our trip is a fortnite."

I almost got caught watching porn.My mom got the bill for the account but luckily dad had my back.I mean we do use the same account

A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."

So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.

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