Hey Siri, where is my dad? Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen! Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. ...WhAT-
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man? Snowballs
Why did Billy fall off his bike? Because his dad threw a chair at him.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with there dad than there mom?
They already know that there dad is gonna get " Milk " and never return
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand. He said, But Dad I'm blind. Exactly
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home there were signs everywhere
People joke about 9/11, but its not funny My dad died in 9/11
Best pilot in Saudia Arabia
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts
A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says “what about the kids” and the rhabi reply’s to him saying “fuck the kids” and the priest says “think we got enough time”
Dad. Son who do you want to marry when you grow up? Son. A ugly girl. Dad. Why not a pretty girl? Son. A pretty one might run away. Dad. So and ugly one might to. Son. Yeah but who cares.
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
Girl: How do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your sister Girl: I don't have a ...
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you're dad came.
My dad died the other day but, i was able to hear his last words"son are you still holding the ladder"
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens... BA-DUM CHHH!
So my dad said to me and my sister don't fight but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
what's the difference between Nemo and my dad? Nemo was eventually found.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me
