From your Dad I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line

I Love to play catch with my dad! He’s never there to catch the ball though.

(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It’ll get better just walk it off."

So there I was fucking my sister and she’s shouts “god you fuck like dad” I then said “damn that’s what mom said”

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid’s birthday party. He walked in and said “Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel.” He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said “And for my final trick; I will disappear!” He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said “Hey, he’s like my dad.” “Really” asked a little girl? “I guessed?” he said back, “My dad wasn’t a magician, but he disappeared. I haven’t seen him since…”

when i ask my dad did i get adopted he said not yet no one wants you

My dad told me that his dreams were shatterd a few years ago

Then i asked him how many years ago

He replied with ”when were you born?”

I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11…

Allahu Akbar!

What’s the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.

my dad died in 9/11. he was such a good pilot

Wanna hear a good joke?

My dad’s love for me

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex… I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!

Daughter: “Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?” Father: "Ask your sister” Daughter: “I don’t have a…”

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you’re dad came.

my dad told me to do wht he did best so i left

MOM: honey im pregnet DAD:Hi pregnet im dad MOM:No your not

Cashier: Will you want the milk in a bag today sir?

Customer: I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind.

Son: Hey Dad, what’s an alcoholic?

Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would we 8.

Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.

My dad and cancer go into a fight never saw my dad after that