Dad Jokes

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it Leaves and never comes back

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

I wont ever Forget my dads last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"

i cought my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, i cant wait to meet him 🥰🥰🥰

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

You wanna know what i want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.

So a daughter asks her father "dad what is you opinion on abortions?" So her father says why don't you ask your sister. The daughter responds "but I don't have a sister... Oh"

My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

A:He only comes once a year.

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court.."

This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult "I know the whole truth" they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom "I know the whole truth" and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said "I know the whole truth" and his dad gave him 40$ an said don't tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said "I know the whole truth" then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him but and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say "Dad I have to go to school soon"