Cut jokes
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
Memes
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.