
Crime jokes
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
What does the school shooter do after shooting all the kids?
Shoot kids in them ;)
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.
I'm Batman.
