Crime jokes
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”