Crime jokes

I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.

Why do a pedophile love Halloween?

Free delivery.

What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.

A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?

Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.

How do pedophiles follow the law?

They drive it slow in the school zone.

If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

Alien vs Predator.

Cosby vs E.T.

What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?

You got off clean.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

Do you know why I hate pedophiles?

They are fucking immature kids!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.

I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.