Crime jokes
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash its crack and sell it again.
Terrorist: We can go over it, we can’t go under it, let’s go through it.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Memes
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
I burnt down an orphanage and then showed an orphan the orphanage that I burned down, and he loved it. Not really, though.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with their heads cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.