Crime jokes
"Whole November month, sniper lessons available in Dallas U.S.?"
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."