Crime

Crime jokes

Memes

Pedophile

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

Axe

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."

Arson

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

Priest

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.

Child

What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?

The Jackson 4.

Stain

What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?

Michael Jackson's lipstick.

Penalty

I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

Shame on you Penaldo!

Impression

Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.