What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
Crime Jokes
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
