Crime jokes
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Memes
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.