Crime jokes
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
If you hate pedophiles, grow up.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Memes
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.