Crime jokes
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Memes
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."