Crime jokes
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.
Memes
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.