Crime jokes
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
I got hired by an orphan to commit crimes, so he could become wanted.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
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