Crime jokes
If you combine math and meth, you will become Einstein White.
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?
They fly a plane at them.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.