Crime jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?
One's wanted.
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What's the good thing about child perverts?
They drive slow in a school zone.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.