Crime jokes

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

Someone is adding dirt to my garden!

The plot thickens!

What is Batman's favorite food?

Justice.

Robyn Olive in 10.

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered six offender.

They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!

They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!

Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?

Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.

Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.