Crime

Crime jokes

Woman

I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.

Crow

They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!

They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!

Memes

Friend

My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.

Epstein

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Lawyer

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

State

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

Victim

Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀

Father

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

Pickle

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.