Crime jokes

Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?

A. They drive slow through school zones.

What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?

A donation team.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!

What's orphans favorite game to play?

GTA5 because they want to be wanted!

Why do orphans play GTA?

Because they want to be wanted.

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.