Crime jokes
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.
An orange jumpsuit that is :)
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
What's orphans favorite game to play?
GTA5 because they want to be wanted!
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to be wanted.
I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.
I think someone must've poached it.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.