Crime jokes
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
I fared it. I ticked the orphan. He jiggled, he was burning, so I did it again.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Robyn Olive in 10.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?
A. They drive slow through school zones.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.