Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Crime Jokes
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Whatβs the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
I cummed on the alley.
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?
The prostitute can blow you more than once.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Chuck Norris hasnβt decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
