Crime jokes
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.
He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
Rape is not funny!! What if you were the girl/boy getting raped?
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......
It’s a wood hulem.