Crime

Crime jokes

Wife

    • There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

    Rape

    • A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.

    She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

    Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?

    He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

    Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.

    Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.

    WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.

    I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

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    • Crime memes

    Verdict

    • We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.

    Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?

    Garden

    • I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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    • Rape

    • How are rape and an airplane similar?

    The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.

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    • Priest

    • A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

    The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

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    • Shooter

    • The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

    "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

    Child Molester

    • A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

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