Crime jokes
What do you call a triggered white kid?
A school shooter!
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
She said no, so I raped her.
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To feel wanted.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?
Tess: No!
Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!
Tess: Oh!
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.