Crime jokes
Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
It's the 1940s.
The chink was counting his shillings. The chink was bitching. His wife got raped in Nanking. The chink counts his shillings.
The chink gets sook chinged!
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
How did I kill Georgee?
I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.