Crime jokes
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
7 was a registered sex offender.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.