Crime jokes
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Memes
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.