Crime jokes
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
What's the best thing about 20-1 year olds... there's 20.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
Rape victims suck, literally.
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"