Crime jokes
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
Memes
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
7 was a registered sex offender.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
I AGREE WITH EDP.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.