Crime jokes
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Memes
Off brand Hollow Knight
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
Why can't orphans be robbers?
Because they're not wanted.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021