Crime jokes

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bill Cosby.

Bill Cosby who?

Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

7 was a registered sex offender.

If R. Kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life.

R. Kelly: I feel you.

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Sniffing cocaine?

YES SIRRR!

I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.

What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted :)

One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.

I AGREE WITH EDP.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???