Crime

Crime jokes

Mama

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Artist

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

Orphan

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

Memes

Basement

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Kid

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

Team

Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?

Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha

Prison

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

Bullet

What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?

At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.

Kid

"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021

Police Officer

Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

Hooker

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Pirate

Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!

Coke

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

Grandfather

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.