How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
Crime Jokes
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re unwanted.🤣😢
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
How do you stop a terrorist from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
