Crime jokes
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
Why are orphans so good at GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Biden: My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said, "That's a pretty big word for a 9-year-old!"
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
What did Jarrah say to Hanjour?
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."