Crime jokes

I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.

What is a pedophile's favorite planet?

Uranus.

Rape victims suck, literally.

When is a rape victim right?

When she admits she lied.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?

Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?

Cock flavor.

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head.

What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?

The type that gets raped a lot.

Where do rape victims live?

In kennels.

Why did the rape victim cross the road?

Because she was a chicken!

What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?

She was date raped.

How do you know if a rapist loves you?

He will rape you many times.

I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.