Crime jokes
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.