Crime jokes
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.