Crime jokes
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
Rape is a touchy subject.
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?
White vans.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.