Crime jokes
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free OnlyFans so I don't touch the youth.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Jared from Subway touches the youth.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.