Crime jokes
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Why is a white prison inmate scarier than a black inmate?
The white guy did it!
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?
One's wanted.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"