Crime jokes
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
How can you tell when a female became a rape victim? She crossed herself out, hanging by with a Carlton dry.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.
A child molester and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What do you call a bank robbery with MrBeast?
A donation team.
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.