My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit-faced.
Almost closing time, "Brother, you gonna snag?"
"Yeah, I'm taking her home."
He walks over, she gathers her things. Walking out together, he takes her to his car outback. They stay messing around then start having sex. He starts to get carried away. He looks down at her. She looks up at him and says, "Slow down, cousin, you're going too fast..."
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.
